This blog is for Tiff...my one and only follower...Haha. Since I know nothing about fashion, entertainment, local news...my blogs will probably revolve around training like a slacker for the Tinman and Honolulu Marathon...followed by the North Shore Marathon...extremely long-winded failed relationships...and sort of a circular pattern of that short list.
As life would only have it, I began my running journey because my failed relationship ended with the heat of anger and feelings of betrayal. Running was my escape...get in the zone and push through the pain that I could control...and let me tell you...I killed myself the first year...emotionally, the relationship never ended and we had good and bad moments, which could have made for a great K-Drama I am told. --That was year one of the long-winded failure--
Life likes to really mess with you because year two--AMAZING--we finally start communicating! The famous "Use your words, Trisha" Kicked in and we build this strong foundation of friendship and happy mindless moments...the kind that make people fall in love. **This made my running badass and my triathlon training fun*** Only to have freaking CRAZY---I cannot stress this enough---C-R-A-Z-Y---moments of mean, who-the-f-are-you moments. Commonly referred to as "Baggage"...and as all long relationships...we have enough to fill a cargo plane. ***This made me ditch practice early to go home and talk a lot*** This is a very bittersweet year of roller coaster moments, taking us from extreme highs and extreme lows...always with this underlying notion that none of this is real because we are technically not in a relationship...I was in a "fake" relationship. Haha.
We are now sitting in the middle of year three...we finally made the grown up decision to separate. Baggage will never go away, so you just gotta wait it out til it doesn't bother you anymore? I don't know...his logic. He moved back home in April, took our baby Blu (a dog we purchased together during the decline of our failed relationship). During April and May, I went through a weird period of life where I tried desperately to fill every waking moment with something to do. I got a second job, I started going to the gym again, I picked up a personal trainer...I slept about 2-3 hours a night for two months. June was burn out month. Our baby's 3rd birthday rolled by and I didn't spend it with her for the first time...his 29th birthday rolled by which we did not celebrate together for the first time in 7 years...not a happy month. My desire to train is on a decline and I have no motivation to do much of anything. It's July and still no contact...what would have been our 7 year anniversary will be on Saturday...and although we have been "broken up" for the past 3 years, we have never spent this day apart. Even in our darkest times, we set time aside to pay tribute to the day our love really blossomed...the first day we verbally communicated our love to one another. So I'm afraid of what this all means..."the end"?
...I hope this doesn't mean I'm going to get really fat...
...hahahaha....
*apologies if this doesn't make much sense---no edits!
2 comments:
yay thanks for writing! i'm bored a lot, so i keep busy by reading blogs.
sorry to hear about the situation between u and your ex...i hope things get better for u soon :(. i'm not good at giving relationship advice, but i am a very empathetic person, so i feel your pain. its good tho that u keep yourself busy. thats usually the best thing to do. where is your second job?
follow my blog too! i dont have many followers :(
Thanks...I'm starting to think my situation is a lil humorous though. I work at Hawaiian Air and Hiroshi's. :)
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